One year since I last saw your pretty face…

One year and ten days since I last heard your funny laugh…

One year and two days since I laid on your bed and held you, wishing your suffering would end but knowing I wasn’t ready to let you go but needed to…

One year and two days since I last heard you say you loved me…

One year since I watched Chewie be your faithful companion right to the end…

One year of firsts without you: holiday get-togethers, birthday celebrations, big announcements I couldn’t share with you, little day to day moments I took for granted for so many years that I wish I could spend with you again, a new calf being born on the farm – the only one you didn’t get to see, jokes I know you’d love but aren’t here to hear, countless cups of coffee that we can’t have together in the mornings anymore…

You said I’d get used to it. It’s the only thing I think you ever lied to me about in my entire life. It’s okay though. I’ll probably tell my grandkids the exact same lie one day.

I love you, Gramma. I’m trying to stay the same person you always believed me to be. I will never stop loving you and missing you!